Desire – a strong feeling of want

Our desires increase and decrease and change with time. In high school we may have had a strong desire to make the school sports team or for someone to ask us out on a date.

One interesting aspect of desires is that we can have competing desires. We want to buy the item we just found on Amazon but we also want to save money. We want to eat a piece of cake but we also want to lose 20 pounds. If we don’t want to have a desire (spend money, eat cake) then can the desire to do those activities be considered a desire?

Most desires can be put into one of two categories: 1) immediate desires 2) long term desires. Immediate desire – buy the item on Amazon, Long term desire – don’t buy it and put the money into savings.

Immediate Desires

Examples include – pornography, eating too much, overspending, laziness

Immediate desires are usually classified as “bad” desire. They are usually carnal in nature. They seek immediate gratification yet are insatiable. If we give into them too often we feel out of control, as if our desires dictate what we will and won’t do.

These desires are usually very deceptive as we often believe giving into them will make us “happy” or result in some other feeling that we want. But giving into them leads to a momentary bump in the desired emotion followed by disappointment.

Long Term Desires

Examples include – education, fit body, strong savings account

These are usually considered “good” desires. They are generally intangible and manifest themselves through a strong feeling of contentment or accomplishment. These results are usually achieved after putting forth some level of effort, discipline and work.

Acting on these desires usually results in a higher level of gratification than originally anticipated.

How can we increase/decrease our desires

1) Recognize, don’t resist our current desires

2) Ask – If you do give into the desire how will I feel in
     – The Moment
     – 1 hour
     – When you go to bed that night
     – In one month

3) Ask – If you don’t give into the desire how will I feel in
     – The Moment
     – 1 hour
     – When you go to bed that night
     – In one month

4) Ask what is the “real” feeling I want and will giving into this desire get me there. For example – why do you really want to buy the new outfit? To look good at the party, to impress your friends, to feel good?

Going through this exercise, and with time, our immediate desires diminish and our long term desires increase. Obtaining our long term objects become easier as we are not having to “fight” ourself and our actions.